earthbelow: (monty python)
Making soap while listening to rap music is worth an eyebrow lift I feel, but something about Timbaland works well when you're deciding exactly how rosy pink you want your bar of vanilla scented soap to be.

And the advantage of it all is that a) it's sort of self cleaning because its soap and b) frickin' surgeons don't have the clean yet soft and supple hands that I do.

In which I prattle about the making of soap, and you pretend to be interested, because that's how you roll. )
earthbelow: (kitteh_iz_ded)
One of the lenses fell out of my glasses as I was getting up from my desk, and it turns out that the screw that holds the bits of the frame together to keep said lens in is gone and never to be heard from again.

Actually, It's probably been gone for a while and the only thing holding my glasses together were God's good will and a thin coating lacquer.

Well, they ran out.

So I had to put in contacts that were like five years old and not even the right prescription (I felt like I was wearing beer goggles, which makes crossing the street interesting to say the least) just to go down the street to CVS to get a repair kit.

Except with the contacts, my up close and in between vision wasn't so good, and I was feeling really confused. So when I asked the very sweet Pharmacist Lady (who's always been a peach, I might add) where they were, I think she heard me mumbling, "This would be so much easier if I could see up close" and so she guided me to them.

So back I go, and I sit down at my desk and prepare to fix my glasses with the kit I got. Only to drop the only screw in the entire kit that fits my glasses. Which resulted in an all out, hands and knees, comb-the-floorboards type search for it.

I found it twenty minute and a couple of panic attacks later and finally got my glasses reassembled so I could wear them again and go back to normal vision.

At least tomorrow is Friday, and the first day of Spring, and the finale of Battlestar, and the date at which we have to go to a party for Andrew's coworker who departing the NYPD and moving to the DEA.

In conclusion, today: not so grate akshully. I may just go back to bed and wait it out for another 24 hours.
earthbelow: (monty python)
Yesterday, just because I was feeling bad, Andrew brought me beautiful flowers. Then he told me to put his meat in my mouth*.

Both made me feel better.

*Yes, dear reader, I'm actually referring to a slice of bacon. And to the fact that between the both of us, we have the sophistication and maturity of a ten-year-old**.

**I can't resist adding: his meat was delicious and hot and I loved it. What? It was.
earthbelow: (kitteh_iz_ded)
I believe this is a feeling that can only be described as "shit on a shingle". I've done a good job of keeping a small apple, some grape juice, and a little bit of Chex mix down without digestive system launching a bloody uprising the likes of which have not been seen since the French Revolution.

I woke up last night at midnight, then again half an hour later and realized that sleep was not happening. I had a migraine that would not quit, the epic kind of sinus problems that vascillated between epic stuffiness and breaking-of-the-snot-dam runniness. I got the shakes for no good reason and spent a couple of hours shivering but not being cold, and my stomach hurt to the point where the thought of anything but small sips of water was unthinkable.

I didn't get any sleep. I got out of bed at 12:45 or so, because I knew I'd be back and forth to the bathroom all night and there was no help for it and I didn't want to wake Andrew (because at least one of us still has a job to go to in the morning).

Very late night TV is both interesting and scary. Usually, when I get sick or can't sleep, I put on my copy of The Presidents that I have on DVD (yeah, it's the one from the History Channel). It makes me feel better to have neat little fifteen minute segments about the Presidents. I think my favorite is Andrew Jackson.

But I was too sick and shivering even to fish out the DVDs and put one in, so I stuck with TV for a while.

I watched Fresh Prince reruns, and realized that Will Smith was a little unrefined early in his career, perhaps too loud and brash (the way John Barrowman is and will always be), but nevertheless extremely charming. I saw a PSA with Barack Obama in it and felt better about life just seeing him on the TV encouraging Americans to volunteer for things.

Then I watched the last half of Attenborough's "The Life of Birds" on the PBS station. The birds that peck at their mates genital openings to make them eject the sperm of usurping suitors was both interesting and rather head-tilt inducing. After that, there was a program about the 17th century called "The Western Tradition", narrated by some guy with an accent that I couldn't puzzle out and which was wholly inaccurate and rather nonspecific. Had I not been so sick, I would have taken notes on all the things that were wrong about it, starting with their understanding of the reigns of Louis XIII and Louis XIV and the rise of absolutist monarchies in Europe at that time.

After that, there was a really quite good program on Thomas Jefferson, which was mostly accurate, though I think they may have put a rather forgiving coat of gloss over Jefferson's attitudes towards slavery, painting him as being more morally outraged by it than perhaps he actually was. Not to mention that they weirdly left out large bits of his relationship, politically and personally, with Adams and his time in Washington's cabinet, and sort of mentioned them and went on.

Then, when nothing was on, I put on The Presidents and it did make me feel better.

Still haven't slept, and I have been dragging ass epically all day, but at least I know I'll sleep well tonight, if only by virtue of exhaustion.
earthbelow: (mood: sad/blah)
I hope I don't offend anyone on my f-list. I know there are a lot of diverse views and beliefs here, and I want you to know I respect those beliefs and I'm not insulting them. I'm just trying to parse out my own.

I think one of the hardest problems I have with even thinking about going back to a church or becoming a practicing Christian again is that I'm really stuck on the idea that somehow, those who believe in Jesus and ask him to save them go to heaven, but those who don't go to hell.

More thoughts on God and Christianity and Faith )
earthbelow: (monty python)
It's windy as hell out here. I stuck my head out the window for a moment and thought I was in Chicago or something. The wind knocked things off of the fridge, too. Besides being annoyed, I was kind of proud of the wind, because that takes some doing seeing as how they're on opposite sides of the kitchen.

We got a package in the mail this morning from [livejournal.com profile] br0ken_dolly, which contained a lot of goodies they were getting rid of as they're moving. As I was looking inside, I saw something white and square shaped wrapped in bubble wrap and didn't know what it was.

So, for a moment, I was kind of staring at it and going, "Holy cow, did she just send us a brick of cocaine in the mail? OMGWTFBBQDEAAGENTSATMYDOOR?!" Not that she would, but I swear to God, that is exactly what it looked like.

Then I unwrapped it and realized it was just an external hard drive she'd sent us, because she had an extra one. I was really relieved at that moment, because I really wouldn't want the DEA to come to my door and search my stuff. Especially because I just got that sock/panty drawer organized the way I like it and I don't think I could survive watching a bunch of federal agents rip it apart. Also? I worry that they would steal my really nice fuzzy socks and those were Christmas presents from Andrew's sister and I freaking love them. Agents get cold feet, too. Hey, you don't know what those guys are like. I bet after a day in those big old fuck off boots, they probably would like nothing more than to prop their dogs up and partake of a big old cup of hot cocoa. I'm just sayin'.

So, anyway. Besides the cocaine-shaped harddrive there were journals in there (whee!) and other stuff. None of which, so far as I know, are restricted by any law, federal, state or local. Heavy as hell, but not illegal.

So to recap my morning so far: Gale force winds, but a refreshing lack of illicit substances in the mail this time. I'm calling this one a win.

ETA: No, I don't know why my first thought jumped to "brick of cocaine". Too much Law & Order, Y/N?
earthbelow: (happy)
Andrew (touching my bottom): "Is that an ass tumor? Wait, no, that's your cellphone."

Need I say anything more? I think not.
earthbelow: (monty python)
Andrew just came and asked me: "So, for our wedding, when it's time to exchange our vows, can I say: 'I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you'?"

Well, at least he asked first.
earthbelow: (pensive statue)
1. I realized just in the knick of time that the substance I was about to squirt on my toothbrush was not toothpaste, but antibacterial soap. It wasn't even early in the morning, but for some reason my brain short circuited and decided that toothpaste = bright orange antibacterial soap. Luckily, the brain corrected itself before I got a mouthful of Dial, the likes of which I've not had since childhood.

2. While working on my NaNoWriMo novel I accidentally hit ctrl + a (which highlights every bit of text in the document you have open) and then the backspace key creating an instantly blank document where once 50 pages of work had been. After a moment of Beaker-like flailing, I remembered that there's an "Undo" button. God bless the thoughtful soul who put undo buttons in word processing programs. I hope whoever he/she is, they are showered with money and sexual favors from the partners of their choice.

3. Trying to use a tea towel to extract a bowl of pea soup from the microwave is not recommended. It slipped and I was forced to catch a scorching hot bowl of soup barehanded and quickly get to the table. My hand still hurts, but I didn't lose my lunch although the microwave door got it like an extra in the Exorcist.
earthbelow: (Default)
Because it was a nice nippy forty degrees this morning, I exercised for an entire hour. Of course, I sort of needed to because I ate oreos for breakfast. Not my fault, Andrew brought them home and they were delicious and chocolate-y and I haven't had oreos since the last time he brought back the little mini-packs of them from the last blood drive.

Although, weirdly enough, it seemed to help. Maybe my blood sugar needs to be a little higher before I go out walking and jogging. I didn't feel nearly as sluggish this morning. Usually I get up, do my exercise, and then eat breakfast.

The new route I tried was quite nice. I shall have to tinker with it to get it just right.

Also? I've discovered that the operation of a simple tea kettle may be too much for me to handle, especially one that doesn't whistle. At least there was still water left in the kettle this time.

One time I left the kettle on for three hours accidentally and it sort of burned off part of the ceramic bottom leaving just the metal. But we will speak no more of this.

And in case you've been wondering why the lack of updates, it's because my life is a big cake of boring with boring flavored icing and boring colored sprinkles on top. And I figure nobody needs the empty calories.
earthbelow: (monty python)
As I am looking up from my big pile of creative journaling chaos, I say to Andrew, "Hey, Andrew, do you know where my porn is?"

Without missing a beat, he looks around, finds the IKEA catalog on the coffee table and hands it to me, because he knew *exactly* what I meant.

And yes, the IKEA catalog is furniture porn for me. Like porn stars, the furniture is cheap and mostly fake, but when it's posed all pretty like that, well, I can't help myself. Oh, Aneboda, I know you're a horrible particle-board floozy, but I love you anyway.
earthbelow: (Default)
A pleasant surprise is finding out that your new AC unit is not only energy efficient and really quiet, but can take half your apartment from broiling to downright frosty in an hour and a half, where the old one took half a day just to get it to bearable.

An unpleasant surprise is finding out that somehow, you brought home someone else's underwear when you did laundry at the laundry mat. Well, at least they were clean. But, still. Eww.

So, as you can tell, Andrew and I are beating the heat. We invested in a new AC, because the old one was, well, old and it could barely keep up with making one room habitable at a time.

The news all over in NYC has been the sweltering heat wave that's hit us. I guess it speaks for my Southerninity, but, I didn't think the temperatures were newsworthy just yet. Where I come from, we don't start bitching 'til it hits 100 degrees.

But where I come from, most houses have been outfitted, and indeed built with air conditioning since before I was born. Until I moved to NYC, I'd never lived *anywhere* that didn't automatically have an installed AC unit.

Which is why I think Southerners come off as so eco-unfriendly towards the *FACT* of global warming sometimes. It's not that we don't believe in it, it's just that, well - it's always been hot for us. I remember years where I've worn shorts at Christmas. So, if the Midwest is any evidence, global warming is actually going to translate into more rain rather than just more heat for some parts of the country. Which is why I think it needs to be called Global WTF rather than Global Warming.
earthbelow: (monty python)
You know, it's probably a good thing that I can't time travel or anything.

Because if I could, I'd go back in time and do really crazy things like mess with the evolution of certain animals so they turned out different. Like, I'd try to make unicorns happen, but I'd probably mess it up and get like, demented little shetland ponies with ginormous antlers that just kept falling on their faces all the time.

Or even better, I would introduce sea dwelling dinosaurs into important naval battles, just to see what happens. Plus, it would be really awesome to see pirates fighting dinosaurs. Especially if you're rooting for the dinosaur (go plesiosaur!).

I might even plant completely false evidence in the archaelogical record just to screw with hardcore Creationists.

I would mess so badly with history. I'd try to get the Hustle introduced into the court of some English king or something as a new dance craze. Or better, the Macarena. Because watching Queen Elizabeth do the Macarena would be the ultimate act of supremacy over the Earth.

So yeah. You can sleep safe tonight knowing I have absolutely no power over the time-space continuum.
earthbelow: (get fuzzy)
This comes from my editor, who is by far the most awesome of the awesome:

"Wikipedia is like the Choose Your Own Adventure of knowledge!"

I love that this discussion came up when I saw that she was looking up transgendered actresses on Wikipedia. And I only saw that because I was peeking over her shoulder while getting a Diet Dr. Pepper. Which I only saw because the desk she was at is right next to our coke machine. Which is only the case because our office is like a clown car.

We have outgrown our office in a major way. We're pretty much defying the laws of physics now just to have places to have meetings. People are having to slip into the 4th and 5th dimensions just to do power point presentations on budgets and what not, and are looking longingly at the 6th dimension, wondering if they can get a three month lease on it.

But this is Manhattan, and there is literally no space. We've even used up all the alternate universe space. Even the reality in which New York City is a burning pile of nuclear rubble that turns people into three armed mutants is taken. But I hear they're building some nice glowing radioactive ruins out in Brooklyn if you're willing to commute.
earthbelow: (DO NOT WANT)
It's snowing like crazy outside, and the buses are running at an epically slow pace according to the Boy, so I called into work.

I know that's not the most responsible attitude to take, and I know I should bravely soldier on through the snow and the chill, ready and determined to do my job at any cost.

But I have several reasons for being irresponsible this time:
I have reasons, suffice it to say. Cut because I bet you don't actually give a lot of damn about my job/mental health whining )

So, SNOW DAY! Wheeeeeeeeeee!

And? I think I'm probably going to finish my s00per sekrit novel that I'm working on. The one that I haven't told anyone about, because I'm not sure it's any good.

So today is a Good Day. I declare it to be so.
earthbelow: (monty python)
I just ran across one of the more disgusting phrases I've heard yet.

Concerning the appropriate age to have sex with a young lady: "If there's grass on the field, play ball."

Reminds me of a cute [/sarcasm] little medieval verse I found while doing some reading for a class my senior year, concerning levels of incest: "With your mother it is sinful, with your sister it's shameful, with your cousin - give her the works."
earthbelow: (DO NOT WANT)
...then five random things make up a legitimate post.

1. Old monitor is now replaced with GINORMOUS new monitor. It is gorgeous (21 inches, dude, I've had smaller TV's), and actually is very fun. It makes the interwebs seem all new and shiny again.

2. I should discuss some of the stuff I've been doing at work, but I think I should do it in a locked post. Not that any of it is bad, I just don't want to risk my employers finding out I'm talking about them (for good or ill) behind their backs.

3. I need to gleepost much more now. Especially since NaNoWriMo is over (I won way back on the 15th of November, so the 30th didn't come as quite the relief it did to others). BTW, big ol' congrats to [livejournal.com profile] ladyslvr and [livejournal.com profile] tptigger who both won. I knew you two could pull it off and I am so proud of you guys and I can't wait until I get to read what you've written. Because from what you've both told me, you have v. v. fascinating novels.

4. Williams Sonoma catalog = Housewares Porn. Y/N? Discuss. I lust after everything I see in there, but I know we're running out of space in this apartment. We already don't have enough places to put books, much less a Cuisinart Popcorn Maker which we'd never use, but nevertheless is quite lovely looking in the catalog. That why I just cut out the pictures and pretend like I just bought it for my big imaginary house that I'll have some day. The one where I'll have lots of critters (dogs! cats! reptiles! fish! possibly marsupials!) and write award winning novels from. Like I said, imaginary.

5. My mom has finally quit smoking. She's smoke free for 22 days now and I am immensely proud of her. It's something I've hoped she would do for a long time, and I'm really really proud of her. Getting rid of bad habits is hard. It's even harder when you have a physical addiction to the bad habit in question.
earthbelow: (switchable2)
I haven't updated in almost a month. That's sad.

NaNoWriMo sort of ate my life. Technically I could stop, because I hit 50k yesterday morning. But my goal is to complete the novel (however many words it turns out to be). In that respect, I'm actually behind.

I'm sitting at my desk at work right now, eating my soup with a fork. Because our entire office is bereft of spoons. Seriously. We have, like, 50 gajillion forks and knives, but not one damn spoon. No salt either.

I would have eaten in the park, but it just rained A LOT and the temperature has dropped and it's really quite drizzly and miserable outside. I got as far as 6th avenue and said, "Oh no. I am not doin' this."

The big news for me, work wise, is that they're going to start letting me interview people for a book we're putting out. That *is* exciting. Especially since I've been stuck in Spreadsheetland for weeks now. The prospect of doing something mentally stimulating is music to my ears.

We get a nice big chunk of time off for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, which excites me. Wheeee!

And I have to go see my relatives (do I hafta? awwww.) and take some days off work in December. My boss was tres cool about that, though.

Is it Friday yet?

I should probably gleepost.
earthbelow: (uglymugs)
Now that I have access to a digital camera, I'm pretty sure that there will be more pics to come. But don't worry, I realize that not everyone has fast internet connections, so I'll try to keep it all dial-up safe. It's all clickable thumbnails, so no worries.

pictures from Connecticut - Mt. Holyoke, Apple-picking and miscellaneous critters, they're turning me into a good New Englander yet )

more random meaningless things from my life! I know you're interested )
earthbelow: (stewie)
ten very silly confessions I'd make to postsecret if I were so inclined )

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