winding down

[earthbelow]

I decided posting during the post-boy depression would not be a good thing. There are plenty of folks on my f-list who have enough of their own angst and could probably do without hearing about mine.

Especially since mine is totally not as bad as it could be.

Big news is my haircut. I have pretty short hair, relatively speaking. Most people who knew me in real life know that my hair is looooong. Especially in the last years of High School.

It's now a couple of inches from shoulder length. And thinned out. Oh thank god. *sigh*. I was really beginning to get irritated with having such long, heavy hair.

But the most striking thing is how grown up I look now. I feel like I'm older, because here I am with short hair. With adult hair. Not long tomboy-who-doesn't-get-haircuts hair.

School and work tomorrow which is non-fun, but it'll be good to get back to routine. God I just want this semester over and I want to get to next semester so I can do more school hours and work less hours.

And I found a bunch of very, very old disks with ye old fanfic and pro fic and poetry on it and *dude*. Wow. I sucked. Badly.

But I do miss the confidence I had. The energy. I miss the fact that I felt eager and excited about writing. That I didn't feel constrained or jaded about it. I miss the time before I realized how hard it really was. I miss when I loved it so much that I dreamt it, ate it, slept it, breathed it.

Writing is still part of the basic fabric of who I am, but it's no longer the bright little center of my universe like it was.

I guess I just miss being excited about the future.

This is probably post-spring break depression setting in. I'll post when I've got something more interesting and hopefully happier to share.

- Meg

Comments

*huggles*

[tptigger.livejournal.com]

You were good, even when you first joined the list.

Well, when you weren't trying to write original series having never seen it ;)

Re: *huggles*

[thousandpages.livejournal.com]

Yes. Having tapes (blesses arpiana ten times) helped me get over that issue.

Tapes are always a good thing, because then you get to see canon and knowledge of canon can only improve your story. I know this now.

And fortunately, Wendy lets you take things *off* the archive so my first few embarassing mistakes are around for anyone to gawk at. *shudders*.

The only thing even remotely canonically based I found in my old disks was the first chapter of a big long five chapter fic where Andrew is moping about being left in the Lab while John and Elizabeth go off somewhere, and even that's shaky.

And then you throw in like fifty Mary Sues and it just goes downhill from there.

So yes, best not to relieve the bad good old days.

- Meg

Re: *huggles*

[tptigger.livejournal.com]

(-8

I think I may have dirt on you somewhere, I know I do on AmyH. And ladyslvr :)

My dirt's still up. Some day I'll remember to ask Wendy to take down the evil Chelsea play of doom.