and randomly...

[earthbelow]

I need to go to a gay bar sometime. I've never done this.

I really, really wish that before I'd left Jackson, I'd just *once* gone to "The Other Side" (the only gay bar in Jackson that I knew of and it's like less than a half mile from my old house). My *mom* went there once (in support of a coworker in a drag show). And I didn't.

WAHHHH.

I would just really love to go to a place like that. Where not only is it okay to be gay. It's GREAT to be gay. It's a big party of celebrating all that is good and homosexual in the world. Except I don't dance so good and I have a boyfriend and I've always been slightly afraid that people who are gay/lesbian will be like "you date BOYS, ya big hetero! you're not really queer!" But I am. Okay, I date boys, but I like girls too. And bisexual is *too* queer (wisdomeagle said so and Ari is the authority, so there *sticks tongue out in professional, mature manner*) and if I wasn't dating a boy that I really liked, I'd kiss girls.

But mostly, I just don't dance that well.

Maybe there can be a gay lounge? A gay coffee joint? You know, where the coffee cups have rainbows on them and the person serving it to you moonlights as "Twilight" and saying "me and my girlfriend" actually *means* that you and the woman you're refering to are living in sin (double sin! with mocha!) and maybe there's Indigo Girls playing on the speakers?

Just no dancing. Yes to the gay, no to the dancing.

Also -

Finished five pages of crap to hand in for summer session midterms and I've decided that interning at Marvel Comics would be the coolest thing ever.

Not that I'm applying or anything because *dude* - I cannot afford to go 8-10 weeks in the summer with *no* pay. But still. The description of it sounded really nice.

The description of the Random House internship (in the internship book that came across my desk at work) included an anecdote about an intern being told to go get an editor's laundry. Blech.

I despair of the job market when I finish school. I can't keep my nice, slackass job forever. And I have to get a career. Eep!

*hides from adulthood, waves it off from underneath desk*

Go 'way! Come back when I don't have anything else to do and I can deal with you. Grr.

- Meg

Comments

[denoue-moi.livejournal.com]

talk about feeling non-queer!

This weekend, I'm going to pridefest in Nashville with a bunch of my lesbian and gay friends. I feel a little weird since I'm dating Jay. And all I seem to date are men. :P

Not looking forward to it, because I know I'm going to get a bunch of questions about Claire.

[thousandpages.livejournal.com]

*awww*

I wish I knew if there was a pridefest in Jacksonville (chances are there's not).

But if you don't want to talk about Claire, I'd just be like "Hey, is it okay if we don't talk about Claire and instead boogie down with our collectively queer stuff and just have fun?"

Being bisexual sometimes feels like being a hybrid, but at the same time, if someone said, "Okay, you can only be straight", it feels like I'd have to cut an arm off because the parts of me that *love* women and think about women's bodies, and think about women and how some women are so pretty and how I'd like to kiss them...if that was gone there'd be such emptiness in me. But at the same time, if I had to be *only* lesbian, the part of me that like the boys and The Boy would also leave a big gaping hole.

And I hate having to feel guilty because the person I fell for just happens to have a penis.

Like it makes me less bisexual or less queer. It doesn't.

Queer is what you are, not what you date. Lots of gay people end up for whatever reason marrying/dating a person of the opposite sex and it doesn't make them less gay. So the same shouldn't make a bi person less bi.

- Meg

[denoue-moi.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

One person asked where Claire was. I said, "Southern California." And that was that. :)