In which I angst about exercising and weight. Skippable.

I am so terrified of facing the scales this morning. Ugh. One lousy Memorial Day weekend and I can just see the scale saying "you've gained six pounds, fatass!" If I don't see at least a three to four pound gain in weight, I'll be shocked.

But I must do it. I must face whatever weight I may have gained and do my best to exercise it off and resume eating better. I tried to be very moderate during the memorial day celebration we had, but I doubt it worked.

Still, there's something about struggling for two weeks to lose a single pound and then learning that in three days, I not only found again it, but three or four of it's friends that makes me want to crawl in a corner and sob.

I've been doing this Wii Fit and diet thing since March. I've lost a grand total of six pounds. I feel, somehow, I should have lost more considering that I'm exercising about 45 minutes to an hour five times a week and I am eating a 1200 calorie diet.

It really may be time to go see a doctor about this, because I'm getting just about sick and tired of it. Goddamn it, body, why can't you work for once!

It would be nice to be able to go to a party or have a holiday and know that if I dare to eat a cookie or have a cheeseburger that it won't set me back a month in my progress.

Weight not so bad, akshully.

I think I may owe my fat ass an apology for my last entry.

The scales today show neither a gain nor a loss, and considering what I ate over the weekend, that's better than I ever could have hoped for. Also? It gives me hopes that I'll see a continuing downward trend this week.

( Discussion of weight and why I'm talking about it so much lately. )

Which is why I need to talk about this subject a lot. And if it's getting bothersome for folks, or triggering anyone who may have eating disorders (I know a couple of people on my list have struggled with anorexia/bulimia), or if it's just plain old annoying, let me know and I'll filter it for anyone who wants in. Because I don't want this to become overwhelming.

I promise, I'm doing other things in my life! It's just that my writing is over at fiction_theory and all my fannish stuff is over at sage_theory and since I'm still unemployed (*grumble grumble fuckin' economy*), this is the big Personal Life Issue for me right now.

But I just want you to know that I'm okay. Or, well, I will be. And your support definitely helps a lot, and knowing that people out there are willing to listen and comment and even just say, "Good luck" or "keep trying!" really does do a world of good.