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earthbelowI know that they warn you on the packages of sugarfree things that "excess consumption may have a laxative effect", but I don't think that's sufficient enough.
I think they should be saying: "excess consumption won't just give you the runs, it'll give you a Boston Marathon in your bowels that gurgles like boiling swamp water and will have you howling for your mother or a priest and you will DIE ON THE POTTY. Like Elvis."
Also, I realized that one of the things my mother and I bickered about when I was younger was not actually anyone's fault.
My mom used to get on my case a lot because I didn't brush my hair. I did brush my hair. But I have very thick, long hair and when you're in the South (aka Humidityland) you can brush your hair 'til you can make your very own hair!sherpa, and it's gonna look like you let a pair of mating swallows do your hair that morning. You either gotta get some gel or live with it, and being all of eight I hadn't discovered the magic of Frizz-ease. So it wasn't my fault, but it wasn't hers, either.
I realized this when I brushed my hair in the mirror this morning and realized that I'd been brushing it out for like, five minutes, and it still looked like a mess.
I think they should be saying: "excess consumption won't just give you the runs, it'll give you a Boston Marathon in your bowels that gurgles like boiling swamp water and will have you howling for your mother or a priest and you will DIE ON THE POTTY. Like Elvis."
Also, I realized that one of the things my mother and I bickered about when I was younger was not actually anyone's fault.
My mom used to get on my case a lot because I didn't brush my hair. I did brush my hair. But I have very thick, long hair and when you're in the South (aka Humidityland) you can brush your hair 'til you can make your very own hair!sherpa, and it's gonna look like you let a pair of mating swallows do your hair that morning. You either gotta get some gel or live with it, and being all of eight I hadn't discovered the magic of Frizz-ease. So it wasn't my fault, but it wasn't hers, either.
I realized this when I brushed my hair in the mirror this morning and realized that I'd been brushing it out for like, five minutes, and it still looked like a mess.