(no subject)

[earthbelow]

Dear Weatherpeople,

Make. Up. Your. Minds.

Yesterday, you said it was going to be 90 degrees on Friday. Now you're putting that number around 70.

You said it would be in the upper 70's today. I'm wearing long pants and considering a jacket today.

From now on, I'm going to start consulting the great and powerful monkey god - because the monkey god seems to know more about the upper atmosphere than you do.

Only a 20% Chance of Love, With the Possibility of Disdain Later Tonight
Me

PS - At least you're erring on the right side. I'd be much more peeved if you said it was going to be cool and it was a scorcher.


Dear Monkey God,

I'm not bitching about the weather. Just the weatherpeople. I like this weather. If it could stay like this all year round, I'd be thrilled and would offer you my pretend firstborn child. His name is Melvin. He pokes things with sticks and says inappropriate words around mommy's friends. He adores monkeys. It'll be a perfect fit.

Much Love and Bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S),
Me

Comments

[nightsinge.livejournal.com]

Tell me more of zis monkey god of which you are speaking. I am interest very much.

Oh and Gwen Stefani lodged permanently in my head. Eeeeeeeek!

[denoue-moi.livejournal.com]

the problem is you did not give an offering of burnt leaves in the fall to the monkey god so he tortures you in this fashion.