Snow/mental health day!
Friday, 22 February 2008 07:21![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
earthbelow
It's snowing like crazy outside, and the buses are running at an epically slow pace according to the Boy, so I called into work.
I know that's not the most responsible attitude to take, and I know I should bravely soldier on through the snow and the chill, ready and determined to do my job at any cost.
But I have several reasons for being irresponsible this time:
a) Andrew just now informed me (about five minutes ago) that he only now stepped onto the bus. Which means I'd probably find myself standing out there for an hour or so before one came, because bus service gets worse as the day wears on.
b) I have no desire to make myself sick. Especially since this company asks a 40 hour work week of me but doesn't bother to offer me any kind of benefits. Now is not the time to risk my health.
c) This company, while having it's upsides, has dicked me around a lot with this internship. They've been inconsistent in telling me what my status, responsibilities, and functions were. They haven't even been consistent in when they fricking *PAY* me. They've changed from paying me weekly to every two weeks and back again at least three times in the five and a half months I've been there. They don't tell me which rules apply to interns and which don't.
I don't know who my boss is. I get passed around like a joint at a Cheech and Chong convention.
Oh, and then there's the fact that I pretty much get forgotten about until someone needs to dump work on me. Except the editors don't coordinate with each other. So sometimes four different people will say, "I need this done". And when four people come to you with TIME CONSUMING, TEDIOUS, BORING, MIGRAINE-INDUCING "projects" that need doing, you have to figure out which person to say no to and which OTHER editor to hide behind.
So I've learned the fine art of saying, "Oh, sorry, (insert other person's name) has me on an epic journey to find a an evil ring and throw it in a volcano. But as soon as I'm done, me and Samwise'll hop right on down from Mt. Doom and get started on that."
Also? I do pretty much the same work that the editors/assistant do, I just get paid less for it and have no insurance for my troubles.
Which makes me despair. Because even if I went full time and got paid better? The work wouldn't get more interesting. That's because the company doesn't get more interesting.
Meaning: I'm not waiting an hour in the snow and freezing cold for this shit.
d) I'm sort of still on the brink of a mental breakdown. I have good days and bad, but I've noticed that I'm starting to forget to do things in order (like turn the light on before I go into the bathroom and lock the door behind me, or to wash the soap off my hands before I open the door, because that rinsing stage is all important to the process). I've been having lots of anxiety/sadness accompanied by lots of stomach aches. Plus, my body has been aching a lot.
I've done my best to slap on a smile, go to work, not bitch too much, and just get through it.
I'm beginning to suspect that this is not something I can just grin and bear. Which scares the shit out of me.
e) I don't like my job! I don't like that I feel chained to a desk, that I can't even get up and walk around and take a ten minute stroll to stretch my legs and get some fresh air when I need it. I hate that I can't even do that when I have NOTHING that needs doing.
f) This will probably be the last time in life I have a job where I can get away with this kind of buffoonery and not care.
So, SNOW DAY! Wheeeeeeeeeee!
And? I think I'm probably going to finish my s00per sekrit novel that I'm working on. The one that I haven't told anyone about, because I'm not sure it's any good.
So today is a Good Day. I declare it to be so.
I know that's not the most responsible attitude to take, and I know I should bravely soldier on through the snow and the chill, ready and determined to do my job at any cost.
But I have several reasons for being irresponsible this time:
a) Andrew just now informed me (about five minutes ago) that he only now stepped onto the bus. Which means I'd probably find myself standing out there for an hour or so before one came, because bus service gets worse as the day wears on.
b) I have no desire to make myself sick. Especially since this company asks a 40 hour work week of me but doesn't bother to offer me any kind of benefits. Now is not the time to risk my health.
c) This company, while having it's upsides, has dicked me around a lot with this internship. They've been inconsistent in telling me what my status, responsibilities, and functions were. They haven't even been consistent in when they fricking *PAY* me. They've changed from paying me weekly to every two weeks and back again at least three times in the five and a half months I've been there. They don't tell me which rules apply to interns and which don't.
I don't know who my boss is. I get passed around like a joint at a Cheech and Chong convention.
Oh, and then there's the fact that I pretty much get forgotten about until someone needs to dump work on me. Except the editors don't coordinate with each other. So sometimes four different people will say, "I need this done". And when four people come to you with TIME CONSUMING, TEDIOUS, BORING, MIGRAINE-INDUCING "projects" that need doing, you have to figure out which person to say no to and which OTHER editor to hide behind.
So I've learned the fine art of saying, "Oh, sorry, (insert other person's name) has me on an epic journey to find a an evil ring and throw it in a volcano. But as soon as I'm done, me and Samwise'll hop right on down from Mt. Doom and get started on that."
Also? I do pretty much the same work that the editors/assistant do, I just get paid less for it and have no insurance for my troubles.
Which makes me despair. Because even if I went full time and got paid better? The work wouldn't get more interesting. That's because the company doesn't get more interesting.
Meaning: I'm not waiting an hour in the snow and freezing cold for this shit.
d) I'm sort of still on the brink of a mental breakdown. I have good days and bad, but I've noticed that I'm starting to forget to do things in order (like turn the light on before I go into the bathroom and lock the door behind me, or to wash the soap off my hands before I open the door, because that rinsing stage is all important to the process). I've been having lots of anxiety/sadness accompanied by lots of stomach aches. Plus, my body has been aching a lot.
I've done my best to slap on a smile, go to work, not bitch too much, and just get through it.
I'm beginning to suspect that this is not something I can just grin and bear. Which scares the shit out of me.
e) I don't like my job! I don't like that I feel chained to a desk, that I can't even get up and walk around and take a ten minute stroll to stretch my legs and get some fresh air when I need it. I hate that I can't even do that when I have NOTHING that needs doing.
f) This will probably be the last time in life I have a job where I can get away with this kind of buffoonery and not care.
So, SNOW DAY! Wheeeeeeeeeee!
And? I think I'm probably going to finish my s00per sekrit novel that I'm working on. The one that I haven't told anyone about, because I'm not sure it's any good.
So today is a Good Day. I declare it to be so.
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no subject
Date: 22 Feb 2008 12:54 (UTC)I feel at least 40% better just from NOT GOING TO WORK.
Today I think I will cruise Monster.com and look for jobs that are Something Different. Maybe the editorial game is just not for me.