some things that are and shouldn't be

Diplomacy is learning how to offer critiques of classmates' poetry. Especially poetry that makes dry heave because it's like a Linkin Park or Evanescence song, only not that good. But since I am no great bard myself, I try to pick out nice lines and say "I liked it" in a lot of different ways. And they do the same to me.

And we love each other 'cause none of us got enough love in our childhoods.

(Bonus points for the person who gets the quote).

And today was the day of Bizarre Things.

We had a guy laying down in the driveway of our office building. But that's not really even the part that had me facepalming the most.

We didn't know the guy was out there until one of the people I work with, we'll call her Ms. A went out for a smoke break or whatever. And she comes back in, goes to Mark (not his real name) and says, "there's a guy laying in our driveway".

And Mark says, "What?" - because that's really not the first thing you expect to hear when someone steps in your office.

Ms. A repeats herself.

To which Mak replies, "Did you call somebody?"

Because I think Mark was thinking what I was thinking upon hearing this from my office (I can hear everything from Mark's office, which is why it's lucky that he speaks in another language sometimes). That if there's a guy laying in the driveway, it might not be a voluntary decision and there might be a medical emergency of some kind.

And Ms. A had not. Hence - facepalming.

You see a guy laying in a driveway not moving. You have a cellphone in hand. What do you do?

If you picked a) call someone because this guy might be DYING - you're correct!

So Mark, with Kev, me (please, you think I was gonna miss the drama to work?) and my manager all go out there to behold the bizarre wonder that is The Guy Laying In the Drive Way.

And sure enough, there he is in a dirty tee and dirty jean shorts and dirty tennis shoes. And my immediate assumption was that this guy had fainted/had a heart attack on his way to a job.

A little background: my office is located in an industrial park. So it's not uncommon to see people outside in dirty clothes as a part of their daily routine. And the place next to us is a fence company, the place across from us makes flooring I think and we've had tons of construction lately.

Mark and Kev go over to the guy and he wakes up, and it turns out that he's off his ass drunk and just decided to siesta in our driveway. He was *not* with it and then proceded to go over to the fence place and pee in the middle of the road.

And ten minutes later God handed me my Seen It All certificate.

This is why I don't get why people are so eager to get drunk so often. Because this guy was not only embarassing himself and a little scary, but he was a danger to himself. He could've gotten hit by someone.

Yes, because getting drunk is so cool and glamorous and fun. ('scuse me I have to go have my tongue removed from my cheek now). Well, being a dirty drunk guy in an industrial complex in the middle of the day laying in a driveway is none of the above. So maybe you could find some less alcoholic means of fun, 'kay?

I've been informed that this makes me a bad college student - I haven't met my keg quota for the last three and a half years. Which is a little irking to me, because I'd like to think that just because I don't get wasted on a weekly basis doesn't mean I'm not a fun person. Also - since when was alcohol a prerequisite for All Fun Ever^TM?

'cause it seems like it causes more trouble than it's worth.

- Meg