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I constantly thank god for email filters
Sunday, 21 October 2007 15:05
So I reached my breaking point today. I've finally grown tired of the stupid, mind-numbingly propagandized forwards my relatives have been sending me via email. I stopped reading them, even. This is what happens when you give devout southern Republicans access to the interwebs.
I swear to god, these things make fan_wank look like the bastion of intellect. And there's basically only five topics they cover:
1) How God, Country, and President Bush are the best things ever and those queer liberal Godhating babyeating freedomloving freaks and immigrants are destroying our pretty white nation. Dammit, America used to be so wonderful before all these other people started demanding rights and respect. Why can't we go back to segregation and beating up gay people and nuking any country we don't like.
Why are they trying to take away our right to oppress other people? Oh the HUMANITY!
2) I'm an overweight, unhappy, middle-class soccer mom. Here are some trite jokes to make me feel better about that. Hahaha, isn't being a woman so funny? Aren't men funny? Isn't the world much funnier when we stereotype everything?
3) Here are pictures which have circulated among every man, woman, and child on the planet twice. But I thought you'd think they were funny and original.
4) Here's a sappy story that would make the Chicken Soup for the Soul people vomit sucrose. It's usually in support of some pretend cause that isn't nearly as important as we make it out to be. Oh, and here are cutesy fonts in unreadable colors, just to add that sacchrine oomph to it.
5) Oh noes! The internet (and the rest of the world) is full of danger. Pass this on and warn people about these things which are completely unsubstantiated and probably not true.
Why, oh, why did I give them the email address I actually use? I should give them my spam email address instead.
I swear to god, these things make fan_wank look like the bastion of intellect. And there's basically only five topics they cover:
1) How God, Country, and President Bush are the best things ever and those queer liberal Godhating babyeating freedomloving freaks and immigrants are destroying our pretty white nation. Dammit, America used to be so wonderful before all these other people started demanding rights and respect. Why can't we go back to segregation and beating up gay people and nuking any country we don't like.
Why are they trying to take away our right to oppress other people? Oh the HUMANITY!
2) I'm an overweight, unhappy, middle-class soccer mom. Here are some trite jokes to make me feel better about that. Hahaha, isn't being a woman so funny? Aren't men funny? Isn't the world much funnier when we stereotype everything?
3) Here are pictures which have circulated among every man, woman, and child on the planet twice. But I thought you'd think they were funny and original.
4) Here's a sappy story that would make the Chicken Soup for the Soul people vomit sucrose. It's usually in support of some pretend cause that isn't nearly as important as we make it out to be. Oh, and here are cutesy fonts in unreadable colors, just to add that sacchrine oomph to it.
5) Oh noes! The internet (and the rest of the world) is full of danger. Pass this on and warn people about these things which are completely unsubstantiated and probably not true.
Why, oh, why did I give them the email address I actually use? I should give them my spam email address instead.