Dear World
Tuesday, 1 November 2005 13:30![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
earthbelow
A few things we need to get straight:
1) There is a big difference between being bisexual and being a complete slut. A slut means you'll sleep with any*body*. Being bisexual means you're willing to consider sleeping with any *gender*. People are not equalled to gender. Thus, because bisexual doesn't mean that you'll sleep with anything human and/or mammalian. It doesn't mean you're a sexual wild person. It doesn't even mean you're all that sexual to begin with.
It just means that you can have sexual feelings for either gender. Period. Doesn't mean you'll have sexual feelings for anyone.
After all - take a look at ten of your coworkers of the opposite gender (if you're straight) or the same gender (if you're gay/lesbian). How many of them would you even want to think about naked, much less sleep with?
Being bisexual is also not *just* a phase. Nor is it just an experimentation. There are people who are genuinely bisexual, and stay that way their entire lives. Me, for instance. Yes, it is possible. No, I am not just a lesbian waiting to happen. No, I am not just experimenting with girls and will flee back once my heterosexual shame kicks in. No, I am not a slut. And no, I do not want to sleep with 99.99999 (ad infinitum) of the people on Planet Earth. In fact, that number would be more accurate in reverse to describe the number of people I *don't* want to sleep with at all. Ever. So that basically leaves my boyfriend, a few f-listers, and the entire casts of a few television shows.
2) Yes, anorexia and bulimia are serious eating disorders. People with them need treatment and have a mental illness. But eating disorders can also apply to compulsive overeaters. Therefore, a person who is fat may have a mental illness, instead of just being the gluttonous pig you obviously assume they are. People with compulsive overeating and problems with excessive weight are no less deserving of your understanding of them having a kind of disorder than people with anorexia or bulimia. Therefore, treating anorexics and bulimics as though they have genuine medical disorder and trying to find neurological causes for their diseases while just assuming all overweight people simply lack self control is really rather ignorant of you.
3) The average woman is a size 14, and somewhere around 5'5 (at least in America). Would it kill you to put up billboards and magazine pages to that effect? Because seriously - not the even models themselves are as tall, thin and leggy as you make them look.
4) The rule of thumb for weighing in on the abortion debate should be: No Uterus, No Opinion. 77% of abortion protesters are men. 100% will never get pregnant. In the words of Jubal Early: Does that seem right to you?. I realize some people will disagree with me on this, but see above: No Uterus, No Opinion.
5) I apologize for Florida and for all red states for their role in putting Bush in office. I voted for Nader, but still. Florida is my state and on their behalf I'm really sorry. Especially for the re-election. We were drunk when we voted. Yes. All of us. The entire state. While voting. I'll understand if you feel the need to come down here in 2008 and say "No vote for you! Go to back of line!". Next time, we promise to vote for someone less chimpanzee like instead of someone who pretty much throws bombs like monkeys throw their own poo. Again, we're really sorry. We were drunk and Kerry was being kind of a bitch. We should've known better, but we didn't. Forgive us?
1) There is a big difference between being bisexual and being a complete slut. A slut means you'll sleep with any*body*. Being bisexual means you're willing to consider sleeping with any *gender*. People are not equalled to gender. Thus, because bisexual doesn't mean that you'll sleep with anything human and/or mammalian. It doesn't mean you're a sexual wild person. It doesn't even mean you're all that sexual to begin with.
It just means that you can have sexual feelings for either gender. Period. Doesn't mean you'll have sexual feelings for anyone.
After all - take a look at ten of your coworkers of the opposite gender (if you're straight) or the same gender (if you're gay/lesbian). How many of them would you even want to think about naked, much less sleep with?
Being bisexual is also not *just* a phase. Nor is it just an experimentation. There are people who are genuinely bisexual, and stay that way their entire lives. Me, for instance. Yes, it is possible. No, I am not just a lesbian waiting to happen. No, I am not just experimenting with girls and will flee back once my heterosexual shame kicks in. No, I am not a slut. And no, I do not want to sleep with 99.99999 (ad infinitum) of the people on Planet Earth. In fact, that number would be more accurate in reverse to describe the number of people I *don't* want to sleep with at all. Ever. So that basically leaves my boyfriend, a few f-listers, and the entire casts of a few television shows.
2) Yes, anorexia and bulimia are serious eating disorders. People with them need treatment and have a mental illness. But eating disorders can also apply to compulsive overeaters. Therefore, a person who is fat may have a mental illness, instead of just being the gluttonous pig you obviously assume they are. People with compulsive overeating and problems with excessive weight are no less deserving of your understanding of them having a kind of disorder than people with anorexia or bulimia. Therefore, treating anorexics and bulimics as though they have genuine medical disorder and trying to find neurological causes for their diseases while just assuming all overweight people simply lack self control is really rather ignorant of you.
3) The average woman is a size 14, and somewhere around 5'5 (at least in America). Would it kill you to put up billboards and magazine pages to that effect? Because seriously - not the even models themselves are as tall, thin and leggy as you make them look.
4) The rule of thumb for weighing in on the abortion debate should be: No Uterus, No Opinion. 77% of abortion protesters are men. 100% will never get pregnant. In the words of Jubal Early: Does that seem right to you?. I realize some people will disagree with me on this, but see above: No Uterus, No Opinion.
5) I apologize for Florida and for all red states for their role in putting Bush in office. I voted for Nader, but still. Florida is my state and on their behalf I'm really sorry. Especially for the re-election. We were drunk when we voted. Yes. All of us. The entire state. While voting. I'll understand if you feel the need to come down here in 2008 and say "No vote for you! Go to back of line!". Next time, we promise to vote for someone less chimpanzee like instead of someone who pretty much throws bombs like monkeys throw their own poo. Again, we're really sorry. We were drunk and Kerry was being kind of a bitch. We should've known better, but we didn't. Forgive us?
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no subject
Date: 1 Nov 2005 19:11 (UTC)But you DO want to sleep with me, don't you?
And I'll call you slut very lovingly. ;)
My little slut. :))
*snuggles*
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2005 00:26 (UTC)I want to sleep with you: The End! (snicker snicker snicker).
Yes, but I'm not your slut 'cause I'm bi. I'm your slut 'cause you're a goddess. *mwah!*
- Meg
no subject
Date: 1 Nov 2005 19:17 (UTC)Men are written off and get their asses handed to them on a platter when it comes to things like parental rights, which is really ludicrously unfair. Yes, children can develop just fine without a father, but the same thing goes for mothers - kids need parental figures. I realize it's tricker for abortion because the men, obviously, aren't the ones who're pregnant, but it's their genes getting passed on.
And I'll also notice that you're not writing off the pro-choice men, just the ones who disagree with you, which isn't very fair of you.
no subject
Date: 1 Nov 2005 22:27 (UTC)Case in point, a former co-worker. His wife is an irresponsible, psycho nutcase. He had to fight tooth and nail in the courts to get custody of one (not both, but one) of his kids. Because the courts naturally want to assume the mother is a better parent. And, I tell you what, I know plenty of women who should have had their uteruses (uteri?) ripped out the moment they got their first period.
I realize it's tricker for abortion because the men, obviously, aren't the ones who're pregnant, but it's their genes getting passed on.
I said below that when it comes to married couples, the male should be included in the decision, but I'll amend that. I think that as long as the male is really and truly going to do his part, (and the courts will allow him to instead of still approaching the matter from a 1950's perspective), then he should be allowed to have a say-so. Up to and including signing papers accepting full parental responsibilities if the perspective mother doesn't want them.
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2005 00:25 (UTC)But if you say that, does a father have the right to say he wants no parental responsibilities and doesn't want the mother to ever come after him for child support and that the mother has to sign papers accepting full responsibility if she doesn't choose to have an abortion?
Meaning: if men can do this, can they do the reverse?
Just curious as to what you think.
- Meg
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2005 14:03 (UTC)You've given me food for thought; but considering my current frame of mind, the thought processes are sluggish.
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2005 00:16 (UTC)Short version of what I'm about to say:
Pre-birth - No Uterus, No Opinion.
Post-birth - whole different ballgame. Once the child is born - as you point out - mothers and fathers are equally at liberty to walk away and equally capable of taking care of a child. Therefore, there should be no predetermined ranking of who gets to say and demand what. I agree with you there.
but it's their genes getting passed on
This is true, but if it's only a matter of passing on genes, the father has but to find a more willing female and make with the bump-n-grind. His genes will remain the same regardless of the mate he has. It's the mixing of genes that is unique.
Long version:
Well, I guess I should have qualified this remark just a bit.
I believe rights and responsibilities should have a reciprocal quality. Meaning where responsibility is most shouldered, greatest rights should be afforded.
And where physical responsibility is solely taken on by the female (pregnancy), the greatest right (abortion), should be afforded without hinderance from people who do not bear that physical responsibility.
For me abortion is not an issue so much of a child's right or non-right to life, and I believe that's where men feel they have a say-so. In protecting a child who does have half their genes. However, there must be a great priority given to physical reality.
Because, I believe that because parenting is such an involved, exhausting, and important task - it cannot be and must not be forced on someone for the good of society and the individuals involved. Parenting must be ideally voluntary, willing, planned, and supported. Otherwise, disasters happen.
This aside however:
Abortion, for me, is about the ability to control what goes on in your body to an absolute degree - and that includes pregnancy. If a woman does not have the right to disallow a pregnancy, then by extension that curtails her right to allow one. It means that the minute that someone else has priority over her body, the door is wide open to someone saying "she doesn't have the right to bear this child".
And if you think that's so far off, we had laws giving states the right to involuntarily sterilize mentally retarded people and those deemed unfit by the government until the last law (Virginia law, IIRC) was repealed in 1975. That's startlingly recent and technological developments only increase my fear that we might return to that kind of thinking - not on a racial level but on the level of "let's only let perfect beautiful children be born!"
So, the minute you permit a father to disallow an abortion, you extend a reciprocal right to disallow a pregnancy. Ostensibly, a father can say "I want no part of this, get rid of it, I don't want to be a parent!". And if father's rights are an inviolate absolute, then that's what you'll get. Fathers who do not want to shoulder the responsibility that MUST accompany an absolute right such as that.
The curtailing of a right is always the reciprocal curtailing of a responsibility. Men don't have the right to control abortion, but they also don't have to fret about physical pregnancy.
And I'll also notice that you're not writing off the pro-choice men, just the ones who disagree with you, which isn't very fair of you.
There's no need to write off pro-choice men. They're agreeing with me! They're saying: "it's a woman's choice!". Which is the entire point of that spiel. It's a woman's choice. And I'm not invalidating someone's opinion that abortion is wrong on moral, religious, or ethical grounds. That's a whole other bag.
I'm saying that I believe men (cough cough Supreme Court Justices cough cough) should not get the final say so in what WOMEN must endure. Thus: No Uterus, No Opinion.
Also: women are quite free to disagree with me. :)
- Meg
no subject
Date: 1 Nov 2005 19:56 (UTC)no subject
Date: 1 Nov 2005 20:05 (UTC)i forgive florida ^_^
everyone makes mistakes.
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2005 00:29 (UTC)no subject
Date: 1 Nov 2005 22:22 (UTC)Thank you, thank you! And also, get those "body fat" charts fixed. I'm 5'3" but I carry my weight well. So well that in fact people (including doctors and nurses) guess me to be 20 - 30 lbs less than what I weigh. This means that if I was to be at my "ideal weight" I would look anorexic. Some people have large frames, some small. Let's get it together and stop trying to make all of the world a bunch of skeletal wraiths.
4) The rule of thumb for weighing in on the abortion debate should be: No Uterus, No Opinion. 77% of abortion protesters are men. 100% will never get pregnant. In the words of Jubal Early: Does that seem right to you?. I realize some people will disagree with me on this, but see above: No Uterus, No Opinion. I agree whole heartedly except in the case of married couples. . . and only if the guy is really in for the long haul 50/50. Because if he's going to be against it, he'd better damn well be willing to wake up at night and fix a bottle and change some diapers.
no subject
Date: 2 Nov 2005 00:22 (UTC)I hate those. Because thirty pounds over your "ideal weight" is obese. Dude! Twenty pounds is just overweight, but thirty is obese?
I don't really trust medical science on issues like these because so much relies on "medical opinion" and I don't like to have my health dictated to me by anything including the word "opinion".
I agree whole heartedly except in the case of married couples. . . and only if the guy is really in for the long haul 50/50. Because if he's going to be against it, he'd better damn well be willing to wake up at night and fix a bottle and change some diapers.
On principal I think I agree, because it would be an agreement and a contract - thus a *choice* on the part of the woman - to keep the baby and hold the man to it. If a married couple sat down, talked about it, maybe even inserted it into a prenuptual agreement.
But I don't agree with a married man automatically having more rights to his wife's body when there *isn't* an agreement than an unmarried man. The only way I could agreeing with it is if a wife had the right to force her husband to get sterilized when she didn't want to have kids or had the right to compel him to give up sperm if she did and he didn't want kids.
But that's about marriage rights, not abortion, I think.
- Meg